Withstand

Morning, I woke up feeling a weight on my shoulders. 

The blankets told me to just stay in bed forever.

My dreams only told me of escape.

As I drifted, I thought of you and how you turned to me and

shared of your fight

and how you longed to give up to the comfort of easy life.

Last night, I felt the weight strain on my smile.

And as we talked of all the future times 

we'd be pulled and have to struggle on,

I forgot of all the foundation we've built

these months and of all the future

plans that would bring us close again.

All I could see is struggle after struggle

and fight after fight.

Afternoon, I sat with my friend

as she told of her pain, the child

she had lost, and the bleeding.

God has a purpose, we both repeated.

I am tired, she said,

and I couldn't even understand 

all her sadness and hoped I never would.

As we sat waiting to hear the nurse call her name,

my phone rang and the voice began to harangue.

It pounded against me 
and all my character slipped away as I was

only disappointment and failure.

I sunk into the carpeted chair

and wished I could go and pack our bags

and that you and I could run away

to tropical islands to watch the ocean

seep into the sand. 

Evening, the glitter in the sunshine were 

only little gnats.

But as they caught and floated

with the background of

changing trees that burst into fiery orbs,

I found myself in God's hand

and glimpsed the allure of His Grace.

Night, the sun set and stillness of the chill,

fall dark also set my own determination

to struggle on.

But not on my own.

With you,

And with not our own strength to fight the fight

of all the days ahead.